The Power of Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs): Building Resilience and Lifelong Mental Health

Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs)

For most parents, it may seem obvious that our children will thrive when they have positive experiences.

Yet, research has now shown us how certain positive childhood experiences are more important than others for a child’s lifelong physical and mental health. Studies also reveal that the higher the number of positive relationships and emotionally supportive interactions a child experiences, the lower their risk for mental health problems later in life. These experiences strengthen relational health and emotional well-being, increasing the likelihood of positive outcomes in both childhood and adulthood. And importantly, PCEs can overcome adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as loss of a parent, divorce, abuse, poor mental health, or other forms of stress. When children receive consistent emotional support and supportive family interaction, these positive experiences promote lifelong health and resilience.

Picture a tug of war with your child on one side of the rope.

Although the opposing side poses significant challenges, these challenges can be overcome! We can build strength, resilience, and lifelong mental health in our children through positive childhood experiences.

Here’s a list of crucial PCEs:

• The ability to talk with family members about their feelings.
• The feeling that their family stands by them during difficult times.
• Enjoying and participating in community traditions.
• Having personal beliefs or values that bring comfort and emotional stability.
• Feeling a sense of belonging in high school and enjoying the learning environment.
• Feeling supported by friends and maintaining at least one positive relationship.
• Having at least two non-parent adults who show genuine interest in them (teachers, neighbors, scoutmasters).
• Feeling safe, protected, and valued by an adult in their home.

The more positive childhood experiences a child has, the greater their protection against childhood trauma, emotional distress, and future mental health problems

What are the benefits of PCEs?

• Stronger relationships and relational health, leading to greater empathy and optimism.
• Better academic performance and focus.
• Greater resilience in coping with stress and emotional distress.
• Lower chance of anxiety and depression.
• Long-term improvements in physical health and quality of life may be observed.

How Can We Help Our Children Build Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs)?

Thankfully, research provides clear guidelines. Positive childhood experiences may be fostered through daily interactions and developmental play. Here are some practical tips for parents to build relational health and lifelong mental wellness.

How to Build PCEs in Your Family

• Let your child know that you love them no matter what.
  • Tell them often that there is nothing that they can do to lose your love.
  • Even when their behavior challenges your limits, let them know you will NEVER stop loving them.
• Teach your children to support each other and show loyalty to the family.
  • Highlight the importance of family love: “You may not like what your sister is doing right now, but she is family and that is special.”
• Have regular family routines. Consistent routines reduce stress, strengthen relational health, and provide a sense of security.
  • Work diligently to have family meals together. Times and locations may vary, but family connection and communication are essential.
  • Turn off screens during meals and car rides to promote positive relationships and attentive communication.
  • Establish a calm bedtime routine: brushing teeth, putting on PJs, reading, talking, or praying.
  • Designate a time for conversation and review of the day. Here is one example:
    • “Two Roses and a Thorn.” Ask your child to name two good things (roses) that happened today that were positive and cool, and one thing (thorn) that was not so great. Ask them to explain why they chose those things, which encourages them to examine their values.
• Catch the moment to recognize and praise positive behavior. Applaud them when they are being helpful or showing empathy. Acknowledge it to reinforce supportive family interaction. Encourage family traditions (like holidays, family activities, and vacations) that strengthen identity and belonging.

How to Build PCEs Through Connection and Communication

• Encourage an environment of positive talk – Use affirming words and model respectful communication.
• Avoid hurtful words – Build your child up with affirming words and encourage them to do the same.
• Schedule “no screen” times – Limiting screen time encourages real conversations, emotional connection, and strengthens family relationships.
• Encourage your family to talk about their day – Share your feelings throughout the day and encourage your child to express theirs.
• Teach appropriate behavior.
  • Kids need to know that the world has rules and that things go better when we follow those rules. For example: stay in the crosswalk, obey the referee, do not steal, tell the truth, and listen to your teacher.
  • It is essential for children to know that all of us have consequences when we do something wrong: parking tickets, fouls in a sport, detention in school. Explain that mistakes lead to learning opportunities and fair outcomes.
  • Provide rules and limits that are fair and reasonable – Clearly state what behavior you expect from them.
  • Give children a chance to fix their mistakes or apologize. Let them know that there are consequences for their behavior.
  • Punishment such as shouting, name-calling, or spanking is not effective and should be avoided. Try not to embarrass your child in public when you are setting boundaries for their behavior. Stay calm and avoid scaring them when you correct them because children learn best when they feel safe, not fearful.

How to Build PCEs in Your Community

• Help your child find loyal friends – The overall number of friends is less important than having supportive friends.
• Foster belonging – Help your child have a sense of belonging by joining school groups, dance, sports, or hobbies. Hopefully, they can find other children who share the same passions.
• Find other safe adults who can support your child – Help your child form positive relationships with trusted adults (like teachers, coaches, neighbors, and relatives) who provide guidance, protection, and emotional support.
• Build community and compassion – Consider joining a faith community, which can be a source for families to foster compassion, service, unity, and a strong social network.

Building a Foundation for Lifelong Well-Being

Positive childhood experiences can be influenced and shaped by daily activities, family routines, and emotional support. PCEs can promote the healthy development of children and serve as buffers against adverse childhood experiences. These are benefits that can last throughout childhood and into adulthood. For more information, please refer to the references below.

References:

pacesconnection.com

Positive Childhood Experiences and Adult Mental and Relational Health
Bethell, et al: JAMA Pediatrics. September 9, 2019

ACEs and Counter-ACEs: How Positive and Negative Childhood Experiences Influence Adult Health.
Crandall PhD, AliceAnn, et al, Child Abuse and Neglect, July 27, 2019

Benevolent Childhood Experiences (BCEs) in Homeless Parents.
Merrick, Narayan, Masten, J Fam Psychol. June 2019

acestoohigh.com

The Impact of Positive Childhood Experience: A Systematic Review Focused on Children and Adolescents. 2.28.25. Sousa, Machado, Cunha.