How Do I Talk to My Kids About Racism?

Racism is not just a single person’s mindset. Race matters to physical and mental health. All of us need to do our part to combat racism. It is vitally important that families have conversations at home about racism. It may feel challenging, but you can do it! Here are some tips to get started.

Talk About Recent Events

• Talking With Children About Racism, Police Brutality & Protests
• Talking to Children About Racial Bias
• Animation Series: Something Happened in Our Town

Have Conversations Early & Often

Studies show that young children are able to identify differences between races, and often prefer to socialize with people who look like them. Talking about race and skin tone does not encourage racism. It teaches them the difference between “I don’t see color” and “I see your color, and it’s beautiful.” Children can’t grow to stand up against racism if they don’t recognize race.

• Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup
• How White Parents Can Talk to Their Kids About Race

Share Stories & Memories

All families are encouraged to read stories about people who fought for freedom and equality. For families of color, there are stories that are personal and part of a rich heritage that can inspire hope and confidence. Talk about distant relatives who overcame racism and adversity, or talk with other families about their histories. Stories about oppression can also become stories about resistance and resilience. Knowing that your aunt was a computer for NASA, or one of the “Hidden Figures” who put American astronauts on the the moon, raises the possibilities.

• Coretta Scott King Book Award Winners—books for children & young adults
• Children’s books to support conversations on race, racism & resistance

Let Them Learn From Your Mistakes

Recount a time when someone said or did something racist, and you were silent. Say what you would do differently now. Talk about your first time as a victim of racism—how you responded, how you felt, and how it is the issue of that person and does not define who you are.

Be a Role Model

What we say to our children is much less important than what they see us do. Our daily interactions, comments, and silence will shape and define the views our children will hold. Parents need to know their own biases. We are less likely to pass on a bias that we have identified and have worked to overcome.

• Harvard Implicit Bias Tests

Encourage Questions

It’s OK for kids to ask questions and to be inquisitive about other cultures. Hang a world map up at home. Families should try to expose themselves to different cultural events, books, or films—and discuss the experience afterwards. You don’t have to be an expert. If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Then find a way to learn the answer together. Being a global citizen recognizes and embraces the myriad of languages, music, food, dress, and skin hues.

Raise an Activist

Raise a child who views racism as an emergency. Racism is a pandemic. Children should perceive the cost of doing nothing as high. Teach each child a sense of responsibility and to be motivated to intervene. They have to be brave when bravery is needed and decide to help. Will Smith has said, “Racism isn’t getting worse; it’s getting filmed.” But bystanders and witnesses are powerful. We should all teach our kids how to use that power. Speak out: “That’s not okay!” Get help. Don’t turn your back on someone in trouble.

Resources to Raise Anti-Racist Children